The Most Geometrically Delicious Food Ever

I don't know if they sell this in America, but here in China, KFC is making a huge push for a new dish. Out of love for country and out of China's insane love for KFC (it's by far the biggest, most popular food chain here) I've taken the liberty of helping them advertise with a free promotional spot on my blog:

While I'm sure the most accurate name for this would be the "Spicy Tender Beef Crunch Wrap", or something like that, the Chinese name translates to the "Spicy Tender Beef Pentagon". I- obviously- prefer that name.

Fast food is a really strange, exploding industry here in China. Right now KFC is far and away the biggest fast food chain here in China. They've got all sorts of dishes that they sell exclusively here, catering to Chinese tastes- many more than McDonald's does. On the other hand, McDonald's delivers and is open 24 hours. Burger King is more or less nonexistent in China outside of Shanghai, where there are nine restaurants or so. Recent reports indicate that's getting ready to change soon. There are lots of Chinese fast food chains, too, but they appear to lack the marketing savvy and general corporate ability of American brands. (I was forced to watch a CNBC special on McDonald's one Christmas Eve. Long story short, those people are evil geniuses who have it all figured out. The technology that they have is probably beyond that of our military, and it's all to make sure that a burger in New York tastes the same as a burger in Nebraska, which will taste the same as a burger in Shanghai.)

Anyway, back to the spicy tender beef pentagon. Chinese people really like mayonnaise, which I find tragic since mayo is gross. The spicy tender beef pentagon has lots of mayo in the salad half of the filling. The other half is the spicy tender beef, which is sliced thin and coated in spicy tender beef sauce and sesame seeds. It is then put into a crunchy taco shell, before being wrapped into a tortilla.

I heard mostly negative reviews of this sandwich before I finally got around to trying it, but I couldn't resist such a geometrically significant food. Frankly, I can't imagine anyone being able to do so. The sandwich isn't as awesome looking as the ads (expected, I guess):

Forgive the plating, but it's fast food people.

Mayo aside, this was not a bad sandwich. And, since I had coupons that gave me two free fried chicken legs with it, I was doubly excited.

In conclusion: eat it, Sherri King, former superintendent of the Mamaroneck Union Free School District, and your awful graduation speech that was ostensibly about life but essentially about not eating fast food. Because I will definitely eat this sandwich again.