All my friends have gone, now. My parents, of course, work during the day. I have been left completely to my own devices. Really, my life isn't so different than it would be if I were back at school instead of here at home preparing for my semester in China. I spend my days reading, exercising, playing music, and practicing Chinese; at night I read more and watch television. I guess it is different, though- those are essentially my only options here.
As I was eating lunch today- steamed grouper with apple slices and chopped almonds- I sat down to watch the news. Every broadcast was about a story I found trivial so I looked for something else. Peter O'Toole was on Charlie Rose, where he bluntly described his new film as a romance between a "dirty old man" and a "slutty young woman". I changed the channel. Mr. T was giving a woman life advice. "Henry David Thoreau said..." Everything seems a little different now.
On February 23 of this year, I am leaving to spend three and one half months in China. I've been there twice before, but this is the longest I will have stayed there. The first two times I traveled to China, it was with groups of friends; this time I am alone. There is considerably more trepidation about Shanghai than there has been about any other experience in my life.
This trip will make or break me. It isn't the disconnect from the rest of my world that alarms me. It is the pressure I've placed on this trip. The first time I was in China, it was as a tourist in high school, and only for two weeks. I thought it was the culmination of the six years I had spent learning Chinese. But then I kept with it, and the next year I was already back in China- this time for six weeks in Beijing studying. I knew that there was much to gain from that trip, but also that there was still more to gain when I returned. It has been nearly two years since I've last been to China. This is my ninth year studying Mandarin. I feel that, for now, I have reached a plateau of what I can do in America about my Chinese. Except for Shanghai, I'm no longer sure of how much more I can grow. This time, the feeling of culmination- that I'm reaching the end of my Chinese growth- is much stronger. This time the pressure is on to really get it right.
No Strings Attached
13 years ago
3 comments:
i love stir fry beef dude. i just got home from hong kong. asians are cool. you're probably gone already, but i'll be in touch! take care bud!
"I feel that, for now, I have reached a plateau of what I can do in America about my Chinese."
What do you mean?
What I mean is that I've taken Chinese for nine years now, and I feel that the rate of growth in my Chinese has slowed down over the last year. I've reached the highest level of courses at school and have found few opportunities to practice. I think that going to China will help me break through that plateau, allowing my Chinese to really develop, and hopefully allowing that growth to continue once I return to America, where my school has added additional high level classes for next year.
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